Hello Greatness,

Have you ever had to struggle with an insecurity? Have you ever been in a situation where it seems you can’t see anything other than that thing you’re insecure about? It seems as if life itself is zeroing in on just that thing—like you can’t even catch a break. Well, if you wouldn’t take anything else from this post, take these two things: “The enemy thrives in isolation.” Secondly, “You Don’t Have to Do Life Alone – God is with You.”

The truth is, one of the ways to remain in a situation you can’t handle is to expose it-insecurities can fester when kept in isolation. When you keep it to yourself, the thoughts in your head start to multiply, and even though you’re not a negative person, the only scenarios that come to play are the negative ones. What happens when you actually do that is you keep the Holy Spirit at bay, and He can no longer communicate with you. I think I had mentioned in a previous post that the Holy Spirit never forces. Sometimes it makes me wonder why such a good God would trust my judgment. I mean, why would He not just force me to believe that thing He wants me to do? You see, the power of choice needs to be handled with care.

The Word of God as a Shield Against Insecurities

It’s a new month, and while I was in bed praying this morning, I wondered why my insecurity lasted so long, and I heard something in my spirit I believe would bless you. God told me, “Your intake of the Word determines how fiercely the devil runs from you.” Hmm, I began to wonder what that meant. Then it dawned on me that the voice of the enemy was louder than the voice of God. Yes, I would study the Word, listen to music, or listen to a message, but when any of those touched on what I was dealing with, I would jump and pass. Like that’s not for me. Yes, tell me to remember to guard my heart, and I would hear. Tell me the weapons of my warfare are not carnal, and I would believe you. Tell me to serve the Lord with all my heart, and I would do that. All these things were sinking except the things I needed to hear.

Wow, how then would I get out of it when I couldn’t even believe God? You see, I can’t stress it enough that God is interested in the most minute details of our lives. He asked me how I thought I was serving Him with all my heart when I wouldn’t even let Him in. He is whoever I need Him to be, and when He was trying to be my Friend and Father, I rejected Him. Then, as if I didn’t get Him enough, He made me see it through a lover’s perspective. If you claim to love someone and decide that you still want to do life alone, then the foundation of your relationship is shaky. Argh, God, is that what I’ve been doing to You? The Holy Spirit points out our errors for the purpose of conviction. He was trying to get me to let Him in. This whole process of back and forth with God was ongoing through the month of August. It got so bad that I would pray, and I would feel in my heart that I really needed to be honest with God, and yet I would ignore it.

Opening Up to God and Embracing Vulnerability

There was a week when He was telling me to talk to my Husband. He revealed Himself as the Bridegroom and needed me to lean on Him, and I wouldn’t. What you need to know is, God never gives up on His people, even if you do. He led me to a book I’ve been slowly reading, and I just have to say, God is an intentional Lover. I was blocking God, and in the process, making the devil’s voice louder. One day, He made me read the part where He told His disciples to pray, but they slept. He asked me why they needed to pray, and I responded, “So they could avoid temptation.” That was when He reminded me of the time when I asked Him why He didn’t stop Peter’s denial even though He knew what would happen. Why allow Him to fall into sin when it could be prevented? His answer was that it was my place to point out what would happen and help prevent it by showing what to do, but He didn’t. Now, mine was not necessarily a case of praying to avoid temptation; all I needed was to let God in. Back to the book, I was led to read an interesting but short book by Louie Giglio, “Don’t Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table.” This book focuses on Psalm 23 and the role of the Shepherd. I started to see how that was happening in my life.

Confronting the Enemy Within

As I was dealing with all of these, God was coming to my rescue at all times. There would be prompts here and there that wouldn’t let me go into the rabbit hole the devil wanted to bury me under. For the past three weeks though, I would have some conversations with God on a Saturday night, and I would get to church, and word for word, the pastor would talk about it. I remember when it happened two Sundays ago; my Pastor preached passionately about the spirit of heaviness, and I recognized the spirit I had allowed in. I got back and went back to God to deal with that foul spirit. We’ve been taught in church that whatever has a name has an end. I knew the name of the issue, and I called on the name of Jesus over it. (Philippians 2:10-11)

10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;

11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Recognizing Pride as an Enemy Within

Then last Sunday, it was as if I needed a sort of jolt to bring me out. Yes, I had confronted the issue, but I still had one more thing to deal with: a form of character flaw. This was a very humbling experience for me. Once again, on Saturday night, I had an experience, both with God and with a friend. God needed me to pour out my feelings, and I did. I woke up on Sunday and opened the YouVersion Bible app, and it was talking about approaching God with humility. Some of the things I noted from it:

• If you’re going through a rough season, pride makes us sensitive to our failures.
• Pride links our worth to our accomplishments and prevents us from seeing who we truly are.
• Humility helps us realize that we are not enough, but God is enough for us.

Then, time for service, and guess the spirit my pastor dealt with in church—the spirit of pride. Extreme focus on self (Isaiah 2:3, Proverbs 8:13, Galatians 5:26). Listening to those made me realize I was focused on all the wrong things. All I needed was to have my eyes fixed on God. That was when God linked the feelings to pride. I had allowed the devil’s word to sink in that God could not get a word in.

Choosing Faith Over Insecurities

I had a meeting late last night, and God made me see the sign behind me, “Do not fear, for I am with you.” (Isaiah 41:10). I’m thankful that I serve a God who loves me. He never leaves nor forsakes, and I will hold onto Him. This post makes me very vulnerable; my friends will agree with you it’s not a place I like to dwell. But God told me to confess what I had and release. Makes the phrase, “Let go and let God” make more sense to me. I am choosing to let go of my insecurities and hold onto God’s hands instead. I am choosing to do the work needed to fix what needs to be fixed rather than fixate on the wrong ideas. I am choosing to make God’s words louder than any voice rather than listen to the voice of the enemy. I am choosing to focus on the Shepherd rather than the enemy who can see God set a table before me. I am choosing God.

A Year of Focus on God

One thing God reminded me of this morning was that He told me this was my year of focus. My gaze was supposed to be on Him alone, but I shifted my gaze from Him, but no more. I couldn’t stop the song in my heart, and I hope it blessed you too. “Not Moved” by Victor Thompson and “See a Victory” by Elevation Worship (I can’t guarantee that the songs wouldn’t change before the month ends, but I’m riding on those for now).

Oh, lastly, never ignore an instruction God gives you. I remember God telling me to focus on some scriptures a few months ago—I did that, but because I didn’t know the significance then, I didn’t continue. Don’t stop until God says you can when you’re given an instruction. Also, make sure you surround yourself with believers who will hold you accountable and be in the place of prayer when necessary. “Never forsake the gathering of believers” is not so the church gains more people, but for your own growth and benefit.

With all my love,

Mz_Ola